


Something To Say

by purgatoan



Category: Supernatural
Genre: F/M, Fluff, It's so fluffy it's disgusting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-24
Updated: 2016-12-24
Packaged: 2018-09-11 14:56:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,005
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8990191
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/purgatoan/pseuds/purgatoan
Summary: Why are those three words so damn hard to say?





	

**Author's Note:**

> Cross-posting from Tumblr, it's an oldie!

I wanted to say it the first time I saw her pretty face after she slashed that werewolf to pieces. I barely knew her. Hell, I knew nothing about her other than she was a pretty bad ass that saved me from being eaten alive. Literally. But I still wanted to shout to the heavens those three little words. What the hell?

I think I blurted out something along the lines “I think I’d marry you if I had a chance” after she helped me up but she didn’t take it seriously. But, who would? If someone had said this to me I wouldn’t have taken it seriously either, but I’d be damned if I didn’t mean it.

She turned from a stranger to a part of our messed up family in a blink of an eye. I’m not kidding. She became a necessity in not only my life but Sam’s as well. It felt like she was always with us and I couldn’t say that I didn’t like it.

Another time I wanted to tell her how I felt, she had just made burgers after we got back from a case. I like to eat. I ain’t gonna deny it, but making food is a different story. It’s complicated, messy and it never goes well. Don’t look at me like that, it requires some skills. I got out of the shower (that amazing water pressure), put on the dead guy’s robe and went to the kitchen to grab something to eat. After every hunt I was starving. She’s standing there in front of the frying pan, taking the meat off of it, and putting it onto the hamburger rolls.

When she turned around and saw that I was standing there staring at the food, mentally drooling, she gestured me to sit down and put a plate with a big ass hamburger right in front of me. When I gave it a bite I thought I died and went to heaven. I’m not kidding. That’s when I wanted to tell her, but I just mumbled that if I could I would only live on her cooking to which she reacted with a wide grin and got back to the stove to make more.

She’s the girl that dreams are made of.

Next time I almost said it, she was patching me up after a hunt went south. I took a bullet meant for her and it was a good thing that I did it ‘cause, otherwise, she wouldn’t be alive. I couldn’t think on that too long, I just jumped in front of her pushing her away from the line of fire. No thinking. Only acting. Besides, it only hit me in the right shoulder, no big deal.

She asked me why I did it, cursing and shouting at me that I was such a dumbass, and that I could’ve gotten killed, and it almost slipped from my tongue.

Right. Almost.

I ended up saying that I didn’t want her to die and she smiled softly through tears. She ordered me to promise her that I wouldn’t do it the next time, that I wouldn’t risk my life for her again. But even after I made that promise I could sense she knew I was lying. Hell, I would die if it meant that she would live. That’s how much she meant to me, but I could never find the words to tell her.

You could say that I must have had thousand other occasions after this one to tell her those little words. That I should’ve stop bottling it up inside, say it, and get it over with. And you’re probably right, there were lots of situations when I could do that.

When we were doing the research and she managed to find the answer/solution/right spell without any effort, even after Sammy and I had spent countless hours in front of piles of books.

When she was going on grocery runs and she never, not even once, forgot the pie I asked her to buy for me.

When she was playing pranks on me and her laugh was echoing in the walls of the bunker as she ran from me while I tried to catch her.

When we were watching scary movies, which always led to her coming to my room to sleep because she was too scared to sleep on her own.

When she was saving our asses on lots of hunts, shrugging it off afterward and saying that it wasn’t that big of a deal.

When she would fall asleep in the library because she couldn’t stop doing the research. She was so determined with finding the answer that she just couldn’t give up, she had to finish, and I had to pick her up and carry her to her room so she could get some rest.

When I was blaming myself for milion things and she was always assuring me that it wasn’t my fault and that I should stop beating myself up.

When she was having nightmares, tossing around in her bed and screaming, and I was waking her up, wiping the tears from her pretty face, and holding her in my arms ‘til she calmed down, sometimes even staying with her ‘till she fell asleep.

And so on.

But I didn’t. I never did.

I always wanted to tell her. I always wanted to say it out loud to her, no matter what she was doing, where she was or how she looked. Always. Every time and all the time.

There was no day, hell, there was no minute when I didn’t want to tell her how I felt.

You can imagine my surprise when I accidentally let it slip out while we were simply watching a movie. I hoped she didn’t hear those three words I had always been too afraid to say.

But she did.

And you have no idea how happy I was that my brain made me blurt them out for no reason.


End file.
